Children placed in the care of relatives: how can we ensure their rights and well-being?
In Benin, entrusting a child to a family member or close relative is a long-standing practice, often rooted in solidarity. An aunt takes in her niece, a grandmother raises her grandson, or a brother takes care of the children of a parent who has died or moved away for work. In many cases, this family solidarity allows the child to continue their education and grow up in a protective environment.
But when responsibilities are not clearly defined or when the child becomes little more than a household helper, informal foster care can also expose the child to risks such as domestic exploitation, dropping out of school, or discrimination compared to the household’s biological children.
In some families, taking in a relative’s child is considered a moral duty. An aunt might take in her niece because the parents are facing financial difficulties. A grandmother might become the primary caregiver for her grandchildren. Another relative might take in a child whose parents have died. For the child, however, this change can be difficult. Sometimes the child leaves behind their parents, their neighborhood, their friends, and their school environment. Even when welcomed with affection, the child may feel a sense of loss.
“When I arrived at my aunt’s house, I thought I’d be staying for a few weeks. In the end, I stayed there for several years. What I missed most was being able to talk freely with my mother,” says a teenage girl. This account underscores the importance of listening to the child’s perspective. Living with a relative does not deprive a child of their fundamental rights. In particular, they retain their right to education, health care, protection from violence and exploitation, adequate food, an identity, and an environment conducive to their development.
“Children may be viewed as family members when it comes to sharing responsibilities, but as servants when it comes to performing chores,” laments Mathias Akpali, the head of a children’s rights advocacy group. This ambiguity can create situations of vulnerability.
School as the first indicator…
Schools can serve as a watchful eye. A child who is frequently absent, exhausted, poorly dressed, hungry, or falling behind in school may be facing difficulties in their foster home. Teachers are often among the first adults likely to identify a concerning situation. A teacher who requested anonymity recounted noticing during the last school year that a student, who had previously been very diligent, was regularly arriving late.
Conversations with her revealed that she had to perform numerous household chores before going to school. In such situations, the goal should not be to automatically condemn the foster family but to understand the situation and intervene to protect the child. Living with a relative can be a positive experience when there is affection, stability, and clear rules.
But when the child feels different from the other members of the household, the consequences can be significant. They may develop feelings of abandonment, low self-esteem, or the belief that they are less important than the family’s biological children. “The child needs to know that they aren’t just being put up. They need to feel that they matter, that they are being listened to, and that their future is important to the adults around them,” explains a psychologist.
Health and nutrition should not be neglected…
The doctor may also detect signs of neglect, such as stunted growth, chronic fatigue, poor hygiene, or untreated illnesses. Families who take in a child may sometimes face real financial difficulties. Family solidarity must therefore not be replaced by guilt-tripping. Instead, social support systems must be strengthened. Placing a child in care does not necessarily mean relinquishing all responsibility.
Whenever possible and in the child’s best interest, biological parents should maintain an emotional bond and monitor the child’s academic, health, and psychological development. In societies where the extended family serves as an important safety net, the child is rarely viewed as belonging exclusively to the parental couple. But this tradition must evolve to reflect contemporary realities.
What can the government do?
Government agencies and social services must be able to identify the most vulnerable situations, strengthen community-based protection mechanisms, and raise awareness among families about children’s rights. Taking in a relative’s child must be an act of solidarity, not an opportunity for exploitation.
The primary consideration must always be the child’s best interests, safety, nutrition, health, education, emotional well-being, stability, and respect for their dignity. A child in foster care is neither a domestic servant, nor free labor, nor a second-class family member. Above all, the child is a person with rights.
From this perspective, ensuring the child’s well-being therefore requires transforming family solidarity into a truly protective environment, where adults’ responsibilities are clear and where the child’s voice truly matters.