Children born out of marriage: social perspectives and lived realities
Being a child born out of wedlock in Benin remains, for many, synonymous with stigmatization. Faced with the judgments of families, customary burdens and implicit discrimination, these children face obstacles from their birth. Yet, Beninese society is evolving and realities are diversifying such as blended families, free unions, and legal recognition.
In Benin, these stories tell a fight for dignity and equality. Historically, children born out of wedlock were often marginalized, excluded from inheritance or considered strangers in the paternal family. If the Benin Code of Persons and Family today grants them the same rights as other children, attitudes have not followed everywhere.
However, the social representations around birth out of wedlock vary according to region, religion and family. In some communities, the symbolic sanction weighs mainly on the mother; elsewhere, the grandmother becomes the pivot, assuming custody while the mother works. A sociologist from the University of Abomey-Calavi reminds us that ‘what matters is not the family configuration per se but the stability and quality of ties. Children thrive where adults cooperate,’ he said.
Important levers…
On the legal level, legal professionals insist on three important levers namely recognition and filiation materialized by the birth certificate and, where applicable, paternal recognition securizes rights, child support through orders that can set it without forgetting custody and parental authority in order to favor amicable, structured agreements, to avoid conflicts that destroy the child.
The weight of the community gaze…
” In villages, it’s often the mother who bears the shame “, explains the social worker.” He is accused of having soiled the honor of the family and the child becomes the symbol of a fault “. This psychological burden affects the identity construction of many children. In large cities, urbanization and the diversification of lifestyles gradually reduce stigmatization. Today, it is more common to see unmarried couples fully assume their parenthood “, notes the sociologist André KPELOU.
Nevertheless, inequalities persist and due to inheritance difficulties, family conflicts, and sometimes, outright rejection. Organizations raise awareness among communities and legally support mothers for the recognition of children. Media campaigns and local radio broadcasts contribute to changing attitudes, particularly among the younger generations. For Mireille and her son, the key remains solidarity. “I teach him that he does not have to be ashamed of his birth. His future will depend on what he does, not what others say,” she said.