Having only one child: benefits, psychological risks, and social pressure
In Benin, having only one child is often seen as a sign of hardship or failure. Yet more and more urban couples are choosing—or finding themselves in the situation of—raising an only child. This reality, marked by educational benefits, psychological challenges, and judgmental societal attitudes, calls for a clear-eyed, compassionate, and non-stigmatizing perspective.
Traditionally, Beninese families are large. The average fertility rate is approximately 4.8 children per woman. However, this figure has dropped to about 3.6 children, and some households have only one child, often for economic, medical, or professional reasons. Fertility challenges can stem from economic choices, health issues, the death of previous children, marital instability, or even work-related migration.
Many couples explain that raising a child is expensive, given the costs of school, healthcare, housing, and food. According to experts, being an only child has several advantages. Such a child receives more parental attention, better academic support, greater financial resources, and a stronger relationship with their parents. Studies show that only children often achieve good academic results, demonstrate greater maturity, and have a strong ability to communicate with adults. In Benin, many teachers observe that only children are often highly committed to their studies.
Possible psychological risks…
An only child faces challenges related to loneliness, difficulty sharing, emotional dependence on parents, fear of losing parents, and a lack of experience in managing sibling conflicts. In some Beninese families, the only child is overprotected, which can hinder their independence.
Furthermore, having only one child is often frowned upon. Women are particularly stigmatized. According to social services, nearly 40% of women receiving treatment for family-related stress face pressure to have children. Mireille, the mother of an only son, says that at every gathering, she is asked when she’ll have a second child. “People don’t know that I’ve had three miscarriages,” she confided.
Advice from psychologists…
To support an only child, experts recommend encouraging social interaction and sharing. They suggest avoiding overprotection, fostering independence, and talking openly about family choices. Schools can therefore encourage group work, promote group games, and teach conflict resolution, as teachers play a key role in helping only children develop their social skills.
With urbanization, the cost of living, and women’s empowerment, the family model is evolving. The number of children is gradually decreasing, even though cultural pressure remains strong. Being an only child is neither a curse nor an automatic privilege. It all depends on the support provided. In a Benin undergoing social change, it is time to respect the diversity of family backgrounds and protect the psychological well-being of children, whether they are alone or surrounded by siblings.