Parental separation: psychological and social impact on children
The separation of parents, whether due to divorce or a breakup, is a significant event that profoundly affects children’s lives. The consequences can be numerous and vary depending on how the separation unfolds, the ages of the children, and the co-parenting strategies put in place.
This phenomenon, which affects a growing number of families worldwide, including in Benin, raises many questions about the psychological, social, and emotional effects it can have. In this article, we will explore in depth the impacts of parental separation on children, incorporating the analyses and perspectives of several stakeholders.
Parental separation immediately disrupts the child’s environment, forcing them to cope with an unexpected and often difficult-to-understand situation. Initial reactions vary depending on age, but are generally marked by feelings of confusion, sadness, and even anger.
Younger children (aged 3 to 7)
Young children have a simplified view of the world and their understanding of human relationships is still developing. When their parents separate, they may feel directly responsible for what is happening, even if this is not the case.
They may ask themselves questions such as: “Is it my fault?” or “Why are my parents no longer together?” Sokpon GANDEHOU, a psychologist specializing in child development, emphasizes that these children may feel a strong sense of abandonment due to the disruption of stability in their family environment.
Older children (aged 8 to 12)
Older children may have a clearer understanding of the situation, but they often face complex emotions. They may experience a mixture of sadness, anger, and confusion. Their view of love and romantic relationships may be altered, which can affect their perception of stability in future relationships.
According to psychologist and child development researcher Marie AGOSSOU, children in this age group can often feel caught in a conflict of loyalty between their parents, especially if their parents try to manipulate them or use them as intermediaries.
Teenagers (aged 13 to 18)
Teenagers, meanwhile, experience this period of transition with often heightened emotional intensity. In addition to the challenges associated with hormonal development and identity formation, they may feel a loss of emotional and social bearings.
The separation of parents can reinforce feelings of rebellion, isolation, or rejection. The reflections of sociologist Carlos AFOUDA show that among adolescents, breakups can lead to self-destructive behaviors, such as drug or alcohol use, as defense mechanisms against anxiety and sadness.
The long-term psychological impacts…
The effects of parental separation are not limited to childhood and can have repercussions on the adult the child will become. According to several studies, children from separated families are more likely to develop emotional and relationship problems in adulthood, particularly in terms of self-confidence and difficulties in maintaining stable relationships.
Similarly, research shows that children of divorced parents have an increased risk of anxiety and depression. The loss of family stability and uncertainty about the future can lead to lasting feelings of insecurity. Children may become more anxious, particularly in interpersonal relationships, feeling that love and security are temporary or conditional.
Attachment, the fundamental emotional bond that develops between a child and their parents, can also be affected after a separation. In the event of separation, particularly if one parent is absent or does not fulfill their role as an attachment figure properly, the child may develop attachment disorders that will have repercussions on their future relationships. They may find it difficult to trust others or to fully commit to relationships.
The social impact…
One of the significant consequences of parental separation is the change in the child’s social interactions and environment. If the family was previously a unit, separation imposes new configurations, often accompanied by moves, school changes, and even changes in the circle of friends.
These changes can be destabilizing and cause feelings of isolation. In addition, the child may face external judgments from classmates or peers, which can reinforce feelings of shame or embarrassment.
Separation often means that children move between two homes, which can lead them to live between two distinct worlds. This dual life can cause confusion and emotional turmoil. They may find it difficult to establish their own identity, torn between the expectations of two parents.
How can the negative impacts of separation be limited?
While parental separation can have harmful effects on children, there are ways to limit these impacts, particularly by establishing effective co-parenting strategies and fostering a supportive environment. It is essential that parents, even when separated, maintain open and respectful communication with their children.
Explain what is happening in a way that is appropriate for their age, avoiding placing them at the center of conflicts. Psychologist Sokpon GANDEHOU emphasizes that it is essential to reassure children about their place and safety, showing them that they are in no way responsible for the situation.
Maintaining a certain stability in the child’s daily life is another key factor in limiting negative consequences. It is important that parents, even if separated, strive to maintain a stable routine for their children, particularly with regard to school, leisure activities, and eating habits.
This stability provides the child with a sense of security and predictability in a chaotic environment. Psychologists and other mental health professionals can play a crucial role in supporting children dealing with their parents’ separation.
Family or individual therapy sessions can help the child express their emotions, better understand the situation, and manage the stress and sadness they may be feeling.
The separation of parents represents a major upheaval in children’s lives. Its psychological, social, and emotional impacts can be long-lasting and vary depending on the child’s age, how the separation unfolds, and the support strategies put in place.
However, it is possible to limit the negative effects of this breakup by promoting an environment of support, communication, and stability for the child. In this sense, cooperation between parents and professional support can play a fundamental role in helping the child get through this difficult period more calmly.